I saw a quote this week by Dr. Wayne Dyer. It read “if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”. This could not be a clearer picture of what is at the core of life coaching.
It seems the world has trained our brains to always look at things with a negative mindset. It is that old half glass empty paradigm. You know — is the glass half full or half empty? Too many of us look at that glass and see it as half empty. This is where intentionality comes in.
The key to any change of mindset is intentionality. We have to train our brains to see the positives. In other words, we should always be looking for blessings — those things in life for which we are grateful. This can be done by a very simple exercise.
Take a piece of paper and fold it in half and then in half again. When you unfold the paper, you will see it is now divided into quadrants. Number each quadrant 1 – 4 from left to right, top to bottom. In section one, I want you to write one thing you are grateful for. It can be as simple as having a car to get to work, or food in the fridge to eat. But I only want you to write one thing! In section two, I want you to write one person for whom you are grateful.
Now the next two sections are going to require you to stretch a bit. In section three I want you to think about something you see as a negative in your life. Let’s use the example that you hate your job. I want you to look at this and try to find a positive. An obvious positive is that you have a job. So, write that in section three.
The last section asks you to look at others and their circumstances. Think of someone you know and identify something they are suffering through which you are not. I want you to reach out to them. You don’t have to solve their problem. I just want you to express to them in some way that you care. Write in this section the person’s name and what you did. This last part is an exercise in empathy and gratitude. Helping others changes the way you see your own life.
Everyday add to this piece of paper. Use front and back if needed. At the end of the week review what you have written. Use a separate sheet of paper for each week. Don’t throw them away! Instead look back at the end of each month to see how your outlook on life has changed.
One last thing: why use paper? There is an intentionality in the act of getting a piece of paper, folding it into fourths and writing on it that you do not have on your phone or computer. Remember intentionality is key – without it change will never occur.
Keeping Life Real 